Think. Think about it with an open mind. This is a concept that seems so vulgar to our ancient minds. This is a concept that never makes sense to our rich culture. This is a concept that is never acceptable in our society. Because all we ever concentrate on is the bad in it. Nobody knows the good outcomes and nobody cares about them. The bad, The negativity is what attracts us Indians the most.
We Indians were from a culture where the parents promise their children to other parents children at the time of their birth. We come from a culture where a Woman has no will of her own, marries whoever her father sees, and stays with him however he is for the rest of her life. We come from a culture where it is not only acceptable, it is the responsibility of a woman to be the housemaid.
But the times have changed. Some of us realized they are people too, they have dreams and they are to be treated like equal human beings. But all we care about is if she likes marrying a person that her father has chosen for her. Some of us went to the extremes like marrying her to the person she chose herself.
But our views on Dating are the same. "Dating is a sin". "A woman who dates is a Slut". "She just wants to have sex". These are the things we hear when we say the word Dating. It's like that's all we can think of. Woman and Sex. There is no address of guy or the attraction or love between two people. Or the rest of the process of Dating. All it comes down to is "Sex".
It's time we shake that dust off of our brains and start using it a little. It's time we stop looking at things from our ancient animal view. It's time we become complete humans who thinks, processes and understands stuff like it is.
It's time we get an update into our brains and look at what it really is.
Man and Woman, they meet somewhere, like each other, or attracted to each other and want to get to know each other better. They decide a date and meet for food. Might be a dinner or lunch or Coffee. The point is to talk and know each other. So they talk and get to know. There goes the first date. And this continues if they continue liking each other. They start hanging out, going to parties, movies, meeting friends, all the time knowing the other person observing how she behaves and reacts to situations falling apart or falling in love.
We are alien to the concept of knowing a person
We were alien since ancient times. We barely know ourselves. What can we know about another person? The parents never really knew their children, the husbands never really knew their wives. The concept of knowing a person was never really a thing. It was never considered important. We all have our own scriptures telling us what to do, that we forgot to think of our own. The book says that while the husband goes out to earn, a woman should stay home and cook for him and take care of kids. And we never thought past that. A woman if it is other than your Mother was never considered important in our culture. So, why would you try to know them?
Communication never existed in our society
Our parents never communicated with us. They just kept repeating things that they were told by their parents. Don't do this, Don't do that, You are going to burn in hell if you do that. There was never a logical discussion between a parent and a child. Husbands knowing wives is an illusion too. No husband really knows the heart of his wife and the same goes for a wife. They learn to live with the other person adjusting to their way or adjusting theirs to self, just like they do with their parents.
There isn't really a lot of communication going on around Indian community since ancient times. We are existing as we are told to exist. We expect the other person to exist the same way. And most of us did, so there was never a problem in the past. But it has begun to change in the recent times. All thanks to the rebellious generation we are and Globalization.
It has to change for Good
We are not Robots. We all have our own thoughts. A woman has just as many thoughts as a man. She has the right to analyze and decide if the other person is worth it just as much a Man has the right to think about his life and take a decision. The concepts like " A Woman thinking" is new to us, because that's the kind of Male dominant society we are. But it's the right way. A woman is equal to you and the process of dating is allowing us to respect that and giving her the choice she is entitled.
Sex is a good thing
We have to get it out of our system that sex is a bad thing and it is not to be talked about. We have to accept the fact that every one of us craves for it in a fun way and not just for the sake of having kids. We have to stop being the hypocrites we always were and start behaving like intelligent humans.
Just as much you have the needs a woman has needs too. A woman craves for sex just as much a man does and it's not a bad thing. After a certain age, sex is no longer a distant dream it is a health requirement. With the amounts of stress that we are going through because of our jobs and busy lifestyles, sex allows that minute pleasurable pause where we can take a break, enjoy and rejuvenate ourselves with new energy. So, What's wrong when two individuals have sex alongside knowing each other? After all, sex comprises a big part of your relationship, when you get married. And it's fun.
Meeting the woman of your life on the weekends, spending few hours or a day/ night with her isn't really going to tell you all she is. You don't completely know a person until they are around 24/7. You don't know if that person is genuinely like that, or if he/ she is trying to impress you. Attraction/ Love/ Need, anything can make you lie. So if you are to know this person completely, you have to stay with them to know them better.
Living together lets you know what the person's habits are, what his/her inner thoughts are, what a person really is. Is he tolerable or disgusting, is he what he showed you or a completely different person, is he the man you expected to be or not. Living together lets you evaluate all of these and helps you make better choices.
It is not the body that matters, it is the mind.
When are we going to realize that mind matters more than body? We want perfect untouched virgins. Our people used to check for the hymen bleeding after they had their first intercourse with the woman they married. Thank God, we are not those animals anymore. But, we still have that feeling left in us that a woman should stay a virgin till they get married. Our Spiritual Gurus are guiding the whole world about not giving importance to materialistic things. And here we are, together as a nation, looking for a perfect untouched body of a woman.
Dating trembles the foundation of the society
We are a country who thinks Marital Rape is Okay. No wonder we are against dating. It's not the loss of virginity that bothers us, it's not the heart break that bothers us and it's definitely not the culture that bothers us. The real reason we are against dating is that we cannot accept a woman making her own choices, we cannot accept a woman evaluating her options, we cannot accept a woman being in the driver's seat of her life.
And Dating allows just that. Dating disturbs the very foundations, this society is built on. Dating questions the dominance a man imposes. Dating makes a woman an equal to the Man. And that terrifies our Male Dominant society to the core. Think about it.